Binky Update

Well, it was a long night.

We talked about binky, we prayed she could be a big girl and sleep without binky, we cuddled, and then after quite a few tears little Cutie fell asleep.

{{Big sigh of relief}}

Until...

12:45 am when the crying started again. This time with more fervor. And it went on, and on, and on. We talked again, we prayed again, we cuddled again... Nothing could soothe the pain.

Until...

at 1:45 I suggested we get up and start looking for binky again. We looked through the bath toys, through the laundry, and under the couch.

What she doesn't know is that I had an emergency binky all along, which I was hiding in the kitchen. I planted it under the couch as we were looking there and pretended I found it.

I know it's terrible. But I couldn't just produce another binky after all the tears that had been shed. It would have been a betrayal.

She was so relieved. So content.

And she fell right to sleep.

So, the binky saga continues...

Tears Are Being Shed

Tonight is a very sad night at the Rouses, because little Cutie's binky is nowhere to be found. A dear, comforting friend has gone missing.

Her desperate cries:

• BINKY-Where ARE you?
• Gracie took it. I saw Gracie had it in her hand. She hid it.
• Go to the store and buy my binkie.
• It's hard to be a big girl! I don't want to be a big girl.
• You find it. Find it. Let's look for it.
• My binky, I need my binky. (Repeat 57 times)

Yeah, it's going to be a long night.

It's beginning to look, sound and smell a lot like Christmas

The stockings are hung by the chimney.

We've hauled out the holly.

I'm sipping hot cocoa and they're eating popcorn.

We just watched Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer from 1964.

And we bought our Christmas tree! It was so fun to have this adventure with the girls. We drove to a lot near our house and picked the tree out in 2 minutes. The Cuties were jumping up and down as we carried it into the house.

It smells so fresh and it looks so happy.

Thank You

Thanksgiving was four days ago, but I haven't stopped thinking about how grateful I am.

It's truly overwhelming and inexpressible-the love that we are shown by our family and friends. Especially in this time of change, when things are so emotional, I feel grounded, supported, and loved. Knowing that we are held in prayer has never meant so much to me.

I didn't expect to feel so cared for by sweet gestures toward our girls. But because I love them so much,

I deeply treasure these kindnesses.

Thank you (in no particular order) Mom and Dad, Lisa and Steve, Susan and Ellen, Dan and Janine, Grandma Fisher, Grandma and Grandpa, Les and Debbie, Greg and Mitch, Chad and Sarah, Grammy and Papa, Miss Cathi, Nyla, Shannon, Drucks, Ericksons, Jeff and Robin, Ethan and Laura, Rob and Jane, Barb, and everyone else I forgot.

There are no words...

A 3-year-old's thoughts

Background: During our family devotions we have been learning how God made all things for his own glory.

While eating pancakes and watching Thomas and Friends this morning:

Cutie: God made TV.

Me: {Smiling} Yep.

Oh my goodness! {2 Parts}

Part 1

We had so much fun at Legoland with my brother, his wife, and their twin girls. Incredibly fun! The cuties were so excited about the rides, jumping up and down, laughing, running around with their cousins. It was a joy to share in the experience through their eyes.

Part 2

Cutie's prayer tonight before bed:

"Thank you God for...pause, pause...SNACKS!..."

It was hard not to burst out laughing.

Monday Night at the Rouses

The four of us walked the puppy around the lake, stopping halfway to feed the ducks.
There were stars, a few Christmas lights and a chilly layer of fog settling on the surface of the water.
When we got home we had messy pumpkin spice muffins and hot chocolate for dessert.
Now it's time to get these two kidlets into their jammies and into their beds.

All I want for Christmas

is a new washer and dryer.

Because we create laundry faster than I can do laundry. Which means it looks like the Himalayas out in the garage.

We are still using the washer and dryer Matt has had since he was a bachelor, and it's very, very small.

"Teenie Weeeeensie," as the Cuties would say.

December 1st is just around the corner

If you are looking for a fun, meaningful way to count down the days to Christmas with your family, this book is perfect.

There are 25 doors, each beautifully illustrated. Behind each door is part of the story of Christ's birth.

I can't wait to read it with the girls.

Recurring Topics of Conversation Around Our House Today Included

• sparkles
• tummy aches
• trains, railroad tracks, bridges, hills, tunnels
• numbers 1-10
• crocodiles
• popcorn
• hippos
• gum
• washing hands
• the carousel
• Thumbelina
• fishy crackers
• pretty dresses
• school
• Christmas
• pancakes

You know, all the important stuff when you're a kid.

Wonderful Winter

I don't know when the first official day of winter begins. It's not even Thanksgiving yet, but it's starting to get a little colder and the Christmas decorations are out in the stores and there is that buzz in the air.
Yay for:

• cold night walks around the neighborhood to look at Christmas lights
• warm cups of cocoa by the fireplace
• wrapping Christmas gifts with red paper, twine, and handmade tags
• cuddling in bed just a little longer because it's so warm and cozy
• opening the doors on the advent calendar starting December first
• Remembering our Savior's birth and why he came

Strawberry Lip Gloss and Chocolate Donuts

Me: When we get to church you can have a donut.

Cuties: We can have a donut at church?

Me: Yes.

Cuties: I love donuts.

Me: Yum, me too!

Cuties: I love church.

Me: Ok, it's time to go.

Cuties: Where is my lipstick? {Lipsmackers lip gloss}

Me: I put it in my purse. You can put it on in the car.

Cuties: {Getting in the car} Can I put on my lipstick now?

Me: Let me get you buckled in first.

Cuties: Can I put on my lipstick now?

Me: Ok, but just a little. You don't need to put it on over and over again.

{Continuous lipstick application all the way to church}

Me: Ok, let's go get a donut and then go to class.

Cuties: Wait, I need to put on more lipstick.

Me: Alright, but hurry or all the donuts will be gone.

{Arrival at donut table}

Me: Oh no, all the donuts are gone.

Cuties: All gone?

Me: I guess we'll have to go to the donut shop after church.

Cuties: {with disappointment shining in their eyes and glitter gloss shining on their lips} alright.

I just don't know what to do

I'm not sure if I should keep this blog going. As our court date gets closer, the information posted here could potentially make a difficult situation more tense.

I've looked into having a password for the sight, but it seems so contrary to the nature of the project-just a place to connect and relate to others.

Matt thinks I should keep it. He doesn't think it's a big deal. Maybe I'm overreacting.

Miss Caffee

The girls favorite thing to play right now is "Miss Caffee" aka Mrs. Cathi, their preschool teacher.

This involves sitting up high, like on the arm of the couch, legs crossed, a pile of books in hand, and a spoon from their teaset to serve as a pen.
Here is the way you play:

Say, "Good afternoon girls and boys. Let's see...today's super helper is..."
(usually Me or Gracie.) Then we get a nametag.
After that we receive our stickers and sometimes we get to go to the treasure box.
But sometimes we have to wait until next time.
Once we get our treasure, we are instructed to put it in our bucket.

As you can tell, they love school and adore their teacher. I'm so glad they are happy and learning so much!

Thanks, Cathi!

Tuesday Updates

• Gracie's rear end is already getting better. Michele, I thought $229 was a good deal. I think I've lost perspective.

• All of our paperwork has been turned into our attorney, so we should be assigned a court date soon. Hopefully before Christmas. Sunday night I started to panic about it. What if, what if...? I've been praying a lot. Thank you for all your prayers, too.

• The girls and I met Susan and Ellen for an Italian dinner tonight. So much fun. It is such a joy to see my family interacting with them-hugging them, talking with them, and loving them.

• Now I'm going to veg out- eat some mint chip ice cream, watch some frivolous tv, and be in bed by 11:00. Hope you all have a good night's sleep.

I woke up this morning

to the sound of Gracie spitting out mouthfuls of her own fur.

A trip to the vet, a shave, an injection, two perscriptions, and $229 dollars later, our little dog is doing just fine.

Poor baby! How humiliating.

A short poem for you, Lisa, my twin sister and soulmate

generous heart

dazzling smile

compassionate spirit

exquisite style

Legal Update

We met our attorney today, and she seems very knowledgable and personable. Our guardianship court date will be set for 5-6 weeks from now. We could be appointed guardians on that day, or there could be delays if it is contested.

After the guardianship is established we will wait two years to apply for adoption. Two years seems like such a long time, but that is how long the courts like to wait in guardianship cases before terminating biological parental rights.

Deep breath...

This is an uncertain path.

What do you do

the morning after Halloween?

You put your fairy princess costume back on and eat more candy, of course.